For many leaders, a leadership retreat gives them the opportunity to wear Indiana Jones style hats and to endlessly quote David Whyte at each other. The experience is often viewed as more of a treat than a retreat, and the question of who or what they are retreating from is rarely considered.

Some may be distancing themselves from the unpredictable behaviour of their followers, some may be temporarily avoiding the bulldozing boulders of their own leaders, and virtually all of them will be retreating from playing the character that they act out in business life.

However, if the retreat is being hosted with skill and empathy, the gathered leaders may begin to glimpse a space beyond chanting, aikido and Moleskine notebooks. In this discovered space, they may encounter their own authentic selves that are so often in retreat in their day to day corporate existences.

The leadership challenge they then face is to maintain a continuing dialogue with their authentic self as the experience of the retreat retreats from their memory. Although they may be full of great intentions and powerful affirmations, this is usually not enough to sustain their avowed authenticity and it begins to waste away like a rare animal in the corporate zoo.

It is easy enough for them to blame their business environment for the impending extinction, but by having the courage to speak up in their true voices, they can begin to recreate the space in which their authenticity thrives. In Dreamwork, we use Selves and Voices as a way to help leaders to open up new space by listening to their own voices speak their truth.

One of the most powerful qualities of a strong and healthy I-You connection is the awareness it it gives us about our own unconscious projections. By clearly and honestly reflecting our behaviour and intentions, it helps us to form more robust perspectives on our situations and potential opportunities.

However in many leadership teams, obsequious I-I connections are often substituted for genuine I-You connections. In an I-I connection, there is none of the debate, dissent and drama of an authentic I-You connection. Instead, there is an echoed repeitition of a single individual’s perspective.

This single individual is usually the leader of the group, and instead of challenging his or her perspective, the executive minions end up just repeating viewpoints and regurgitating dogma. Although this may seem to create a coherent group inspired by a single vision, it usually promotes a monoculture of yes men and women who are constantly affirming ‘Aye aye’ to their captain of industry.

The old adage ‘Two heads are better than one’ still holds great value in the context of an I-You connection. However, in an I-I connection, it usually results in behaviour like Zaphod Beeblebrox, who shut off parts of his mind that he felt were not presidential enough.

In the 1950s, German magician Ralf Bialla added a classic bullet catching routine to his performance repertoire. However, unlike other magicians who used a variety of subterfuge and misdirection to apparently catch a bullet, Ralf actually did catch the bullet in his teeth.

To offer himself some degree of protection, he wore bullet-proof glasses, reinforced gloves on his hands which he used to cover  parts of his face, and his front teeth been replaced by plates made from steel. His assistant would fire a .22 bullet at him from a rifle and it would smash through three glass panes before Bialla caught it with his teeth.

As a result of his accepted occupational hazards, Ralf was seriously wounded nine times, but survived and continued to perform the routine, as portrayed in the 1972 documentary film ‘Wer schießt auf Ralf Bialla?‘.  In 1975, he died by falling off a cliff, supposedly because of constant dizziness caused by the injuries.

Recently, a client asked us if we could just provide him with a magic bullet to motivate his staff.  As I explored this request with him, I asked if he would like it in the form of an email that he could just fire off from his holstered Blackberry. We then continued by reflecting on his use of language, and how the message might be received rather than how it might just be banged out.

Often messages are just fired off, rather than being used as a way of engaging in dialogue. Instead of creating new space through questioning and enquiry, a firefight fought over old territory often ensues. The recipients of magic bullet messages begin to look like Ralf Bialla, viewing the world through the distortions of self protecting bullet proof glasses, as they catch some bullets and dodge others.

Eventually, dizzy from the cacophony of target based one way missives and directives, they realise that they have become targets themselves, and they go AWOL, taking their passion and creativity with them. So next time you feel like firing off a magic bullet email, just think who is going to catch that bullet for you. You might just end up shooting yourself in the foot.

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In the final episode in Series 5 of the sublime Peep Show, Jeremy explains the concept of Orgones to Mark.  Orgones sound remarkably similar to Spiral Dynamicists Don Beck and Chris Cowan’s concept of vMemes (short for values-attracting meta-memes).

According to Don and Chris, vMemes can be thought of as broad orienting paradigms and schemas through which the world may be interpreted.  From their perspective each vMeme leads to certain beliefs, social groupings, motivation patterns, organizational dynamics, and goals.

However, in reality, the practice of applying broad labels to vast swathes of humanity can only result in alienation and misunderstanding.  Describing the Financial and Accounting Team as Mean Orange Memers precludes any real possibility of forming valuable I-You connections with them.

Instead of using generalised value concepts like Orgones, vMemes and Holons in Dreamwork, we identify specific values that people experience and aspire to, and use those to help them tell the story of their own beliefs.  So if you feel that you need to escape from the spiral wizards, ‘Feel free to use my Enchanted Coracle…‘.

A question I am often asked is ‘How can I make my people do what I really want them to do?’ My usual answer is ‘You can’t.‘, often followed by the question ‘How can your people make you do what you really want to do?‘.

Thousands of books and millions of articles have been published on methods for getting your staff and colleagues to do what you want them to do.  The first of these publications were about dealing with simple situations that were known and familiar and declared that a command and control regime would yield the most efficient results.  This was the domain of the Commander, and although this method can be efficient in very specific contexts, it usually ineffective when dealing with the unfamiliar.

The vast army of writers then went on to describe how to deal with complicated situations that were unfamiliar to the people involved, although the nature of the particular situations was known to others.  This is the territory of the Manager, whose main task is to make specific and unambiguous decisions based on collected information and accumulated management theory.

However, although Commanders and Managers are usually competent at dealing with known situations, they often struggle when having to work with the unknown, the uncertain and the unexpected.  In the unknown, there are often no clear cut answers, and ambiguities and paradoxes may often need to be embraced.  Rather than decisions being made about whether to do this or that, they become about how to achieve this and that.

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