In 1923, the philosopher Martin Buber published his essay, Ich und Du (later translated into English as I and Thou). In the essay, Martin describes how human relationships often fall into two distinct categories, the I-It, and the I-Thou.

In I-It relationships a person tends to see others as objects who must be managed, fought, coerced, or seduced to make them follow certain predetermined behaviours. This usually leads to a self centred perspective in which a person sees others in terms of ‘what you can do for me?.’  In Dreamwork, this is termed an I-I connection as the individual finds it challenging to see beyond their own self.

In contrast, people in I-Thou relationships experience each other as being individuals with unique perspectives and needs.  From this relationship, an empathic dialogue often emerges where individuals ask ‘What can we do to help each other?.  In Dreamwork, an I-Thou connection is known as ‘We‘ as the individual needs and perspectives tend to merge into shared views and mutual needs.

In Dreamwork, we move beyond Buber’s I-Thou connection into the I-You connection.  In the I-You connection we see others as unique individuals who also reflect the unconscious projections of our own selves.  Using tools like Dreamwork Voices and Relationship Maps we can identify these I-You connections and how they form the basis of our strongest and most meaningful relationships.

In any organisation, the most powerful and transformative relationships emerge from I-You connections.  I-It connections usually confirm and promote organisation autism; I-Thou connections tend to create a strong We that often develops into ‘Us and Them’; I-You connections help make us aware of a Self beyond the Self, where we can truly connect with each other and trust in the power of that bond.